


When I Cry Over Him

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Everyone is in love with Brooke, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kinda, Love Triangles, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 07:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19268974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Nina and Vanjie are dating. It took them a long time to get together properly, so they are both incredibly happy. And they are both so in love...with Brooke.





	When I Cry Over Him

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two so much. So my brain made them SUFFER. I don't know why, but here ya go...

“Loving him is really hard.”

“Just because you couldn’t do it.”

Brooke’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised, and her whole body tensed. Shock was evident in her usually calm expression. There was also something else. Something Nina never could quite put a finger on. Nina almost smiled in victory at the reaction she caused. _“How bout that Ice Queen?”_ She thought.

As if on cue, Brooke’s facade came back to her, erasing all traces of emotion that had previously been clear. She looked at Nina for a long moment. Calculating and coldly regarding her as if she were just an overeager fan. Nina tried not to crack. To leave her expression blank or to keep from melting under the eye contact.

It felt like they were yelling at each other. No words were spoken, but the feelings of anger, and relief, and sorrow, manifested in the absent syllables. 

Nina felt her resolve dripping away. Brooke’s gaze was searing into her, telling her things she had tried for so long not to hear. She felt impossibly close to screaming.

Finally, Brooke gave a triumphant smile, (that made shame pool in Nina’s gut), looked Nina up and down, and left the dressing room.

Nina almost collapsed on the sofa. She felt all the energy was zapped out of her in an instant. It was stupid how much power Brooke still had over her. You’d think that after nearly ten years Nina would be over her little schoolboy crush. Yeah, you’d think. Unfortunately, the world seemed to be playing the biggest cosmic joke on her. Not only was she in love with her best friend, but also her best friend’s ex. Did she mention that her best friend’s ex was also still in love with her best friend? Well he was. And fuck, if Nina didn’t do this to herself.

The way it happened was completely coincidental. 

They had all been at DXP, or was it Werq? Nina couldn’t remember. But all three of them were together. Nina had knocked on Vanessa’s door, looking for her Mickey Mouse shirt, when she found the younger queen crying uncontrollably. Through gasping breaths, Nina heard that Brock had finally put an end to their friends with benefits thing. She suddenly felt a wave of guilt, seeing as she had been the one to suggest it to Brock. She had told him it was the only way for them both to move on.

Nina pulled Vanessa close and held her for a while, whispering reassurances into her ear. Nina ignored the warm feeling that took root in her chest with the smaller queen wrapped up in her arms, but when Vanessa looked up at her with those big doe eyes, tears still streaming down her face, Nina couldn’t pretend that her motivations with their breakup had been entirely pure. 

She isn’t sure who leaned in first, only that the way their lips met felt like they were both kissing someone else. 

Nina knew. 

She knew. 

They were both hurting. 

They both loved him. 

And it was weird, and it shouldn’t have worked. But the love they formed was like pent up love they had for Brock manifesting in each other. Nina hadn’t gotten the chance to love Brock, so her love for Jose was intense and full of years of repression. Jose had gotten the chance, however brief, and however painful, he had been allowed to love Brock, even if it was at an arms distance. 

_It shouldn’t have worked. But it did._

They did the things that couples did. Dates, and moving in together, and home decor. And they loved each other. Truly, they did. It took time. Their relationship starting off as a rebound, for both of them. But Jose would watch Disney movies with Nina, and cry at the same parts she did. and find it sweet how everything ended happily. He would give her flowers, and try all her cooking, and smile at her like she was the sun. He would be there when she cried, as she had been there for him.

It was lovely and so incredibly worth all the pain it took to get there. 

But it was also strange. 

Nina was always good at reading other people. She could tell you what people were thinking before even they could. Nina knew Jose’s smiles. The polite one, the uncomfortable one, the one for the fans, the one for her…and the one for Brock. Nina did feel special that she had her own smile. Truly it was a testament to the life they had built together. But it had been over two years now since the whole Brooke and Vanjie thing. She thought he would have gotten over it by now. Not that Nina could really talk.

_It shouldn’t have worked. But it did._

_And it didn’t._

The realization came to Nina one night, arms wrapped around a snoring Jose. The closest she would ever get to loving Brock was loving Jose while he still loved Brock. And while the thought made bile rise in her throat, it also made butterflies gather in her stomach.

Nina hated that she loved this. 

When Jose was drunk and sad and started talking about Him. All the little things Brock would do. Things that stuck in Nina’s mind like superglue, and she hated it. She _hated_ it. It was more painful than just being in love with her best friend. 

It was a million times worse.

And it was obvious to Jose that this was bad. For the both of them. 

He knew he was doing to Nina what Brock had done to him. Not giving her all of him. And it wasn’t fair to either of them. 

But it worked. 

For now.

Somehow. 

They would wake up in the morning. And they would kiss and go about their day like they both wouldn’t drop everything they had built if He just asked.


End file.
